Across the Space

well... stole this picture off the internet. i'm going to shooting from morning until midnight and i don't think i would have any chance to post anything.

this entry is just a mark of a duration.

it has been two years and now everything is across the vast space created through many agonies and miseries. the gap in between is huge. this movie was about a pair of lovers who has come together from two parts of the world. different background, different culture and different ways of living yet falling in love. the feeling of falling in love with the person rather than the physique. being able to know what the other person would be like in whichever situation. knowing they would smile, smirk or laugh.

the warm feeling within your heart and tummy. butterflies in your tummy whirling around. you world seem to be spinning and you become a little kid. heart pumping hard while wanting to the thrill of being near the person. you just lose your cool and at times, things that appear in your mind would come out of your mouth. even the most obscene and weird stuff that might scare the person away. i believe all these only happen once in your life? perhaps twice for those lucky ones.

subsequently, every other would seem different. not bad, not worse, not "just not good enough" but rather just different. you would feel warm and happy--feeling in love but perhaps the thrill would never be there. is that why people say your first love are normally the one you can remember for life? because that's when everything is so pure and love is everything?

random random random~! hahahahahahaha

feelings drifting apart,
moments wanting adrift,
urging every motion
for the heart to love again.

Night Thoughts

started off before 12am of December 1st of 2009 but only decided to start typing at 14minutes to 1am. lingering around the room and chatting randomly with people i've not been talking to for quite some time.



it is nice to catch up with some of the people that used to be around me or people that i used to chat with on a daily basis. things has happened, people come and go but friends would always be around.

thoughts aroused through the memories triggered with occurence around us are the cause to how we react to certain incidents.

complicated phrase? i just type as i thought of the words to depict what i've in mind. either way, i realized i've been randomly making up sentences lately and spilling them out onto papers instead of on my blog. most of these papers would be thrashed in dumped into the bin. i miss how i used to pick up a paper and just write random things long time ago, back in college years. as bad as some of those thoughts came to be, at least it was a way to vent off. when i started blogging, things that appear on the blog has to be decent or perhaps give a more appropriate perception on who i'm. i can't be screaming out loud on how cruel the world could be... could i? perhaps some of my entries had made things sound so bad.

eitherway, do not look at my words in such upset modes. look at it as just words spatted out at you for a little pondering.

i find the picture above makes me fixate on things i don't usually do. more like i've always been a person who's observant towards unimportant things or i would still ignore things that made life worth living. i would seek meaningless things rather than looking around me and cherishing these beautiful things around me. for that, i would thank you for it. best wishes and may only the good would be along your way. glad you've done well.

Conjured Feelings

Was talking to a friend on msn the other day, probably weeks ago by now. She was acting weird and the way she type was rather deflective and so I decided to probe the situation.

Asked about her bf and all but she was not answering the questions.

Finally, the conversation brought us to a halt when she said, "he's a nice guy and he's a great bf...".

What does that mean? He has done nothing wrong, he has been nothing but great. The crucial point would be that you feel lesser for him. He hasn't done any mistakes, at least insufficient for you to leave him. What becomes of the relationship? Drag it on further? Or force it to end?
He has been a sweet heart but you feel the certain annoyance as he tries harder to pamper you because the way you look at him has changed. He hopes to fix the problem. Would it help?

The girl doesn't neccesary has to have feelings for someone else. She probably just meet more people in life, done more things in life and experienced a whole lot more. All these would change how a person react and behave. Perhaps what the guy has is no longer a vital need for the girl...

But...

In general, I believe a relationship that heads this direction... The guy is often the one being left behind... He's stagnant in life while the girl has moved along. I would agree that guys cheat... They show higher percentage of infidelity but when they do love.... They would pour their soul into it, often making them grow slower in terms of life; not size. :D
Girls fall in love with a guy for who he is and what he is. As time pass, the girl would often hope for or wants the guy to adapt and change... Etc etc... 15 years down the road, the wife says... "How come you're not the same man I fell in love with 10 years ago?"

How do we answer?


We would end up wondering, what's the thing in life we want.

Another very dear friend told me. Being with a person and calling the other person sweet names doesn't make you in a relationship. A relationship is where you guys can't get enough of each other. Wanting to see each other all the time. Wherever new place you go, nice things you see, great food you taste... All of which you want to share with the person. When you go shopping or grocery packing, when you buy milk... You don't only think of buying milk; you think of what brand she might prefer... Low fat? Hl? Magnolia?
A relationship is where the two shares everything in life... And continue to share...

Memories

how how?
what is memories?
how is it that when we watch movies or animations or anything like that...
guy meets girl, spends a very short time together, no love yet...

somehow through hardships, something sparked off...

and after something bad happens... they went adrift or apart....
the only memories they had would be of that few days together...

a few days of memories made them miss each other so dearly... even in the show, the only few memories they show are the ones spent together for that few days... few days of memories made the guy willing to face all the dangers of life just to be with her again. emotions, love, feelings are just so powerful...

what about memories that has been through years? are these worth enough to fight? worthy enough to stay on?


how are humans able to devoid themselves of such thoughts?


what about you?

wordings placed,
thoughts entered,
phrases saved,
memories sealed.

motoGP 2009 in Malaysia

not much pictures to update as most of my shots are not with me now... :( these are what i've at the moment....

this time around, the weather isn't so cruel... at least all three category get to finish the race... the bad thing would be that the main event, 500cc motoGP has to start off the race under the rain and wet track...


casey was rather good... he was leading the pack way way ahead....


dani was maintaining it's rhythm all out... keeping at 2nd place throughout the race.... :D


this guy was playing safe... he would still win the wholechamp title if he finish 4th...



overall... it was a decent weekend but i have become an indian to most of the people... people talk to me in BM thinking i'm a malay and etc etc.... argh!!!! hate it... hahaha... oh well... going to be a tanned josh for the next few weeks....

quote from someone in the media centre, "another chapter of motosports has ended, let's prepare for the next one".




gladness swept over,
relieves anxiety,
knowing it,
calms me down.